A Papal Emulsification

In this intriguing theological narrative, a conflict arises between the concepts of “grace” and “grease,” led by the growing “cult of Frank,” which promotes the salvific power of culinary lubrication. Father Anselm Loosespring advocates for “holy grease” in opposition to the Vatican and its rising tension with the Adversarial Tobacconist, Runciman. As Pope Blatantly III attempts to suppress this movement through bureaucracy and even assassination, his efforts are hindered by unexpected conversions and culminate in a dramatic “Great Grease Schism” that engulfs Rome in “holy viscosity.”